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Oh, envelopes stuffed with feelings found
20 most recent entries

Date:2006-01-20 21:40
Subject:I think I'm breaking
Mood: gloomy

All my friends from livejournal have moved on from livejournal, and basically moved on from me, and I've accepted that, and don't care if no one reads this..I just want it to be out there.

I'm dying. Just today and last night..Because my really good friend, and really big crush, told me he asked a girl out a year older than him, and they're going out.. I braved a smile when he told me but I broke.
In school today my friends were trying to comfort me, but I told them I was fine and not to worry about it. Now..After faking happiness, I've crashed..And I just want to crawl into hole..I want to watch Titanic to cry about the relationship I won't have for a long time, and not with the person I like now. And I feel like such a woss/loser..yeahhhh..I felt like he broke up with me, but we were never going out..Or like...cheated on me, with my knowledge of it...And he has no idea. I've played sad music on my piano, it makes me almost cry. He'll never look at me as anything more than a friend..and now, he might not even look at me.
This kind of makes me wonder, what would I do if we were going out, and he broke up with me..It'd be worse than this. And I feel like crap as it is..Maybe it's because I'm tired too..And he was my Harry Potter..don't ask.. Its amazing how things can turn around so quickly.. It almost hurts to look at him...or think about her..And I don't even know her.

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Date:2005-09-07 18:07

Its been a long time since I updated..

Summer's out, School's inCollapse )

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Date:2005-08-04 14:26
Mood: SoreItchyBusyMusical

Crew times 20436546 lately. I'm pretty sore, and I pulled a muscle in my neck and there's poison ivy gradually growing into giant masses all over my legs. Its pretty nasty. I'm reading through every Harry Potter book again. Annnd. On Sunday, Paige and I leave for Oswegatchie. :DDD Then we come home on Saturday and leave for Florida Sunday morinng, right when we get home from camp. After Florida, we'll be home for a week or so, then we're heading out to Cranberry with the family. My gosh. August will be a busy month. And whenever I'm home, I'll have to be practicing either piano or drumset. Lord.

If you're going to walk home from Durgee, tell me or leave a comment. Danke.

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Date:2005-06-23 09:52
Subject:Friends Only
Mood: awake

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Directions and reasons.Collapse )

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Date:2005-06-06 20:31
Subject:Ended for like...a week.
Mood: stressed

I'm ending my LJ for a week, perhaps, just to stay out of trouble..This might eventually turn into a friend's only journal..but I don't want to turn to that, so..I'm just taking a break. :D

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Date:2005-06-04 15:52
Subject:Quick review.
Mood: bitchy

Been a while since I last updated..Tuesday had jazz, and Bri and I didnt have s.s. hw, and all hell broke loose,, sort of..

Wednesday had piano lessons.

Thursday, we went to see the star wars movie, awesome..and sad.

Friday no one was at school.

Today, I Played at Paige's Butterfly Run with the Jazz band, and then mowed Reggie's lawn for 20 dollars. Woot.

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Date:2005-06-02 16:11
Subject:Yet in his eyes...All the sadness of the world.

I don't remember anything, but I have to go to the movies with muh dad now...So I'll update later.

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Date:2005-05-30 15:12
Subject:pictures and explanations.


Pictures[[42]]Collapse )

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Date:2005-05-30 10:05
Subject:Twisted Every Way

I have pictures from the weekend, but Paige has the camera, I do believe, and she's sleeping, so I'll put those in later. On Friday, I fell asleep on the couch for an hour after the duct tape corset thing.

On Saturday, Paige and I attempted weeding the garden, and played in the sprinkler which was taking its water from off our pool cover, so we got nasty pool water all over ourselves. Bri came over at 4ish, and we basically just hung out the whole time. We played dress-up.. XD Yes Ma'am. Have pics.

On Sunday, Bri and I woke up at the time when she told her mom she'd be home, so we woke muh mom up, and drove her over there quickly. When we got back to the house, Paige, Mom, and I got ready to go to Uncle Bob's Petting Zoo, which sounds really stupid, and for litle kids, but tis incredibly cool. Have pics from that too. Amanda came with us, Paige's friend, who is very cool indeed. And..then we got home and weeded again, then I feel asleep on the couch again at 8:30..Pretty sad.

Today, we have to go to the Memorial Day parade, for Paige, who is in it. And since we opened the pool yesterday, I might try to get Paige to go swimming with me. :D

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Date:2005-05-27 16:05
Subject:Prima Donna..
Mood: apathetic

Yesterday, bought stuff. Today was a half day, school was bad, thats why you do you're homework. Got home, watched the Phantom of the Opera <33 And then made a duct tape corset on myself. I took pics, I'll load them on here later maybe. It was insane. And really painful to take off. I took a picture of my skin, after it was taken off too, so ya'll can see the crazy marks the tape left. The rest of the day is going to suck. Doing nothing day after day starts to really suck. Mr. Simele told us that we had to do things for ourselfs, and make our own adventures if we wanted to ever do something. And I want to follow his words, but..I don't know how. Being with people freaks me out usually, and although people frighten me, it's not fun to always be alone. Then when you are with people, you don't know what to do, because you only know how to be alone..It doesnt't help that I don't get really comfortable with people. Idk.

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Date:2005-05-26 14:46
Subject:Yay turtle.
Mood: annoyed

I brought my turtle to school today, and asked Mr. Lazarski if I could keep him/her in the courtyard. And there he/she is now. :D So cute. Fire drills..and..yea. I just want to skip tomorrow..Hm..Let's see how that one goes over. Bri's coming over on Saturday. Lauren is super cool. And Kari was hanging out with one of the master whore's in music. Oh no.

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Date:2005-05-25 17:40
Mood: curious

Happy Birthday Brittney Hoffmann. <3 Much love to ya.

Yes. Well. Today was good. Nothing happened as usual. Last night Paige and I played frisbee, and then talked about death. That girl has some freaky theore's. I'm pretty sure that is spelled wrong, but I'm having a moment, so be quiet.
Piano lesson later. Yay. Just got back from the field, and Hunter caught me a turtle :D She/He's with me now, and wicked hot.

The lj-cut is pretty damn freaky in my opinion, so view at your own risk. You might not want to swim in a lake or ocean again. Ew.
Freaked Austin and I out, badly, you've been warned.Collapse )

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Date:2005-05-24 17:17
Mood: drained

All was good yesterday, that I know off. Kari, Britt and I were all beat(tired) Today was good too, I guess. I came home tired and sad. And now I am tired. Bri and I gave eachother bruises and immatated(sp) crazy cello players on this tape. ._. yes. and our seats in lunch were screwed up, and Mrs. P yelled at us because we were confused. We're sitting in the weird tables for the rest of the year. So, my table's npw sitting with the funny, geeky table<3 They are very cool guys. And they're all so smart. Hehe. Yay. Nerds.

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Date:2005-05-22 14:03
Subject:Oh my Tired,,,
Mood: Let's Sleep, Now.

Britt's ParttttyCollapse )

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Date:2005-05-21 11:38
Subject:Prima Donna,.
Mood: worried

Well. Boring day, then my mom called, she said Paige called her down to the first aid after the race. She gashed her leg open on the oar lock. Its supposed to be wide open says the first aid people, my mom didnt look, and I want there, so I don't know for sure. But its probably all deep, and bloody..And ew. I feel so bad though. That happens to almost no one. Then my sister comes along. She has to go to the hospital for stiches. :( She's never had stitches before. I'm worried about her, and because I was sick, I can't be there for this.

I sort of want to be there just to see too. Sick.

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Date:2005-05-21 07:21
Mood: Sad, Sick..Upset

Feeling pretty sad/sick/upset currently. The dance was good for the most part last night. The music pretty much sucked as always, but I knew the words so I'd sing along. It looked like Bri, pushed Steve? Idk if she did or not, but it did make me a tad bit mad. Came home to Bri's house and spent the night. We watched CSI and The OC, both of which I've never watched before. But they were both pretty good. Woke up on her couch feeling horrible. Then her mom dropped me off at the high school at 6:45, where all the crew members were being dropped off. My mom picked me up. I am here now. And yes. Rebecca and I Naired our legs yesterday. Gawsh. Ow. It smelled awful, and felt awful. Nair is bad. Do not use it.

I'll be home for a while, then going to the races later if I feel better. Then if I really feel better, Britt's party. But until then. I'm here. And I'll probably update a lot.

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Date:2005-05-20 15:51
Subject:At thy lovely Rebecca's!
Mood: Mhm.

School was..dandy. Mhm. This morning was not so dandy. Mhm. I am at Rebecca's and I hate her bus driver. :D She is anal-says Rebecca, ?!??! Says Erin. We shall be going to the dance later. Mhm. We were eating bubble juice earlier. Yum. We might die later. Yeehaw.

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Date:2005-05-19 15:31
Subject:Do what you want only free her-dadadadada.
Mood: hopeful

I have had the Phantom of the Opera stuck in my head all day. Bloody murder. Goodish day. Rachel got bitchy at lunch, about how we all suck. English was fun. Paul just called me a bitch. I've been called a bitch before, but it never hurt like that. He said sorry, but, it really just..hurt.
No more memories, no more silent tears . . .No more gazing across the wasted years . . .Help me say, goodbye.

Quote from The Phantom. <3

I have cruel-ish plans for later. And for the person this is directed to, I am sorry in advance, but there's a reason, and a good one this time. I truly am sorry.

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Date:2005-05-18 15:35
Mood: sleepy

Stereotype Quiz Thing.Collapse )

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Date:2005-05-18 15:14
Subject:Bri is my new sister,
Mood: sleepy

Today was grandNdandy. I ran to the bus barefoot, which was actually purty nice.

Bri, Kari, Katie, Emily, Sammy, Jessica, and I were the only seventh graders in the school that got to see this lady from the holocaust come in. I feel priveleged. It was super sad though. Gawsh.
I got by without doing my Regents homework once again. I'm quite proud. Then Bri and I were compared in class. And the teacher was trying to get our differences, she got 3. :P . She is my sister, officially. My dad said that we both had wide shoulders, and now we're both freaked out that we have man shoulders. 0_0 . Oh no.

Good day, good day. Concert later. Yippey.

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